Depression. I talk about it a lot. It’s something that will always carry with me. Sure, there are ways that I can combat the dreaded feelings, but the anxiety will never leave me. Medication and other means are merely holding it off while I try and live my life the best I can.
For me, I need to keep my mind distracted. Often when I’m left in silence, my mind wanders to dangerous places. These spaces tend to be negative, and can throw off my entire day. From the moment I get out of bed, I put headphones in and listen to a podcast or music. The worst time depression can kick in is right as your day is starting.
Music is one of the ways that I stave off those feelings. Finding that song or album that gives you emotions that nothing else can is incredible. Those tunes that give you chills and put your soul into a better, happier space. That song that you can close your eyes and feel every vibration and the mixing of tones throughout the track. It’s amazing.
Sometimes that feeling hits you, and you can’t do anything about it. You’re in a public place, you’re at work, and there’s no space for you to go and fix yourself. These are the worst parts of depression. You just have to keep yourself together and fake a smile until you can find your safe space.
All of this is a continuous learning experience. You learn more about yourself, you find the things that truly make you happy, and the triggers that get you down. You hold onto the things that you love, and do your best to keep sadness at bay.
I don’t write this for anyone to pity me. I write because writing is my release. I can look back on my personal writing and see how much progress I’ve made.
I’m in a good place right now. I’m working full time, attending college, and writing about video games in my free time. I’m continually thankful for everything that has been given to me.
//Thank you//
Jake Nichols 