Determination

Hey there.

 

My last personal blog post focused largely on the negative emotions that were affecting me. 2013 was a really difficult year. I feared that I was the verge of depression, that things could not get better, and that I was stuck in a tragic cycle.

 

2014 is has been great.

 

I acquired a full-time job at a natural food store as an assistant manager. Opening a brand-new store is much more difficult than one would think. I shouldn’t complain, though, I had an insane amount of overtime in the initial month. The pay increase has helped me begin to pay off my debts, as I had a Macbook Air financed right before work was slowing down. I used my credit card to buy food often, which led to even more debt.

As an introvert, taking the role of assistant manager is challenging. I dislike ordering people around and no one wants to be around a bossy person. My fellow employee’s are generally pretty cool. Everyone is hardworking with no douche-bag types to be found. There are only a few downsides, but the positives outweigh them. Working in retail full-time does give me more drive to become a paid writer. The retail biz just isn’t for me. I only do it because it pays decent and I have a modest amount of knowledge about it.

 

The balancing act of writing, working, and going to school in late August is something I am not looking forward too. The ideal scenario is to go to school full-time during the week, then write professionally in my free time. I’m not a social butterfly, so the undertaking of writing and playing video games all weekend appeals to me. One can dream, right?

As long as I keep at it, my writing should improve. A year ago, my typing speed was probably around ten. Now, I average around thirty. Not ideal, but it’s nice to see an improvement of some kind. Now to perfect my grammar skills!

I purchased plenty of books in the beginning of the year, all of them having something to do with writing/grammar. The real struggle is taking the time to write, read, and play the occasional game in between. This is challenging as long as the internet exists, Imgur and YouTube being prevalent examples. It’s troublesome to write after working a long day. The last thing my body wants to do is use my over socialized-introverted brain. Can’t I just sit here and continue to click-through Imgur? Sure, but I’ll be upset with myself later. I’m getting better, though, the insane work schedule I started with earlier in the month has halted, giving me time in between to pursue my real interests.

 

As far as video games go, I genuinely haven’t dabbled in anything for a significant duration. The server that I attended on Rust died down, probably due to the influx of games that were released last month. January was a lull in terms of significant games, and that’s when Rust was the most popular on Steam. I hope to dive back into Rust once I get some friends to roll with. I have enjoyed the small time I’ve had with Telltales latest releases, though.

 

I have some good pitch ideas I hope to run by some smaller sites. One that will require extensive research and the other dedicated to exploring why Silent Hill 2 is great. I’m also thinking about doing some video with the SH2 post. Trying to find something topical to write about is another problem. Most of my idea’s are based on older games. Every idea that I come up with has been covered at this point.

 

Being proud of something I have written is my ultimate goal. From there, I believe I will have the confidence to go out and make my first pitch!

Hi.

Things are changing rapidly this year. Perhaps too rapidly.

I acquired another job over the summer, and then another in September. I was told with this new job that it would be “part time”. I was excited by this, as I had been at the same job for five years and it wasn’t really going anywhere. Ecstatic at the thought of a new job, I spoke to the higher ups about my new opportunity, and they understood why I was leaving. Strangely, though, they requested that I continue to be an employee at said location despite the constant headbutting that occurred between me and the store director. Regardless of all of this, I still left hoping that this new job would support me financially. I decided to work on Sunday’s at another branch of the company about fifteen minutes away. The manager at this store respected me and treated me as if I knew what I was doing.

Alright, so now that I have Sunday covered, I could work at the job that I had obtained over the summer on Mondays-Tuesdays. False. The more that I worked at this job, the fewer hours I was gathering. So bad in fact, that last week I didn’t work at all. For months, I would constantly calculate how many hours I would need to manage all of my bills. After a month of not working a single hour my new “part time” job, I knew that there was no chance of moving out this year. I received a phone call a couple weeks ago about another job I had applied for weeks ago. I returned the call only to leave a message and not hear anything back.

Because of the work slowdown, I have been hard at work on tightening up my writing skills. Today, I ordered three books that are focused on writing. Most of this writing momentum comes from the recent Joystiq position that was posted a couple weeks prior. I applied two years ago, not really taking it seriously, but still thought I should apply nonetheless. The position is a Community Manager/News Writer. The odd’s of getting this job are in the one-percentile if that. It is helpful to create a resume that focuses on the writing side of things. After all, I only started publicly posting on Ordinary Gamer at the beginning of the year. (January 1st)

Ordinary Gamer is also going through some changes as well (can’t be said here just yet). I think the only way I’m going to get very far with this “career” is if I harass other journalists by asking for a chance to publish something that I’ve written. I have experience, I just feel that I still have a lot to learn. I screwed myself by not taking college seriously, and I still regret not pushing myself more. Now that it’s been about three years, I have a desire to learn more about the English language. I want to learn. I want to become the best writer I can be. The new semester starts in January.

Another hurdle that I’ve had to deal with this year is the return of my ingrown toenail. In February, I had my entire right big toenail ripped off. Then over the Summer, it started to grow back. Somehow, (and I still don’t know how) it became inflamed again. The only way I’m going to fix it, this time, is to drink enough beers to numb the pain, the dig the nail out. I tried this last month, (I drank four beers) and it worked momentarily. I bought some more tools on Amazon that might make the process easier. Something that is helping, though, is only wearing my slip-on Vans. The pressure that my normal work shoes put on my swollen toe is excruciating. Thank God that none of the higher-ups at my job haven’t noticed my non-lace shoes.

I’m starting recognize most of the songs that play at all of the Starbucks locations around me. That’s how much time I’ve been spending at the coffee shops lately. The Internet has been absent in the house that I live in. Two months next week. I use the internet for everything. music, tv/movies, games, reading, socialization. I don’t watch cable tv. I don’t listen to the radio.(WHY DO PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO THE RADIO) I’m behind on what music has been coming out. I’ve only been playing 3DS games (I normally download games on Steam). I use the shotty 3G connection to read and communicate on my iPhone. I’ve been relying on this 3G connection so much that I went over 6GB last month, and of course, the phone bill is crazy high. To counter this, I drive to the closest Starbucks, get a cheap coffee or tea, and sit with my Macbook for hours, trying to catch up and download as much as I can. Before I go in, I’ll eat something cheap and use the bathroom before I sit down. I really don’t like leaving my laptop out in the open, but after drinking a 16 oz earl grey tea, you’re gonna have to use the bathroom sooner or later. I can only imagine what the employees are thinking: “Oh, this guy again”. Sometimes I’ll drive to a further Starbucks just to not look like a weirdo.

Even though life seems rough right now, I’m thankful for what I have. Things could always be much worse. All I can do is focus on my current goals, and hope for the best. This whole writing thing is what I want to do. I know I can reach my goals if as long as I keep at it.

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